How To Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

May 2, 2022 | 

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a aptitude that enables us to understand and manage our feelings in appropriate ways. It is the ability to recognize our own feelings and those of others, to understand and respond to feelings, and to use this understanding to manage ourselves and our relationships.

EQ isn’t just a trait that is either strong or weak. It is a skill that can be developed through practice and practice. EQ is not about being perfect or always being happy. It is about being able to identify and understand our feelings, so we can make good decisions, empathize with others and manage our emotions in ways that are healthy and productive. There are a variety of ways to build your EQ and increase your emotional intelligence, some more effective than others. Here are a few ways you can increase your emotional intelligence.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Understand your emotions

Emotional intelligence can be broken down into three domains: self-awareness, self-management, and social awareness.

Self-awareness is knowing how you feel in different situations. Self-management is being able to respond rationally when life throws you a curveball or if you’re feeling overwhelmed by something. Social awareness is recognizing how your emotions impact other people around you as well as what their reactions are towards your emotions.

The first step to increasing your EQ is to understand yourself. Ask yourself what emotions you experience and how you react to them. Understand what type of person you are in different situations and how those situations make you feel. This will help you identify what kind of emotional intelligence training may be best for you.

Understand the emotions of others

Understanding the emotions of others is a key part of developing your EQ. It's important to recognize that people are not always going to be happy with you, and they may express their feelings in different ways. If you know what someone might be feeling, it will help you better respond to them. See if you can pick out subtle facial expressions and body language cues, as well as the tone of voice. You'll improve your ability to read people better, which will give you a more accurate understanding of what they're thinking or feeling.

Practice empathy

Empathy is the aptitude to identify, understand and share the feelings of other people. It is the capacity to recognize and share our feelings in other people. Empathy is an essential component of emotional intelligence. 

Those who lack empathy have difficulty understanding other people, often resorting to behaviors that are tactless, impolite or insensitive. Those with high empathy, on the other hand, can readily recognize other people’s feelings and are able to understand, identify with and address the feelings of others.

There are many ways to improve your empathy, including:

  • Being mindful of the people around you while you are interacting with them
  • Being mindful of your own feelings while you’re talking to others
  • Listening to others attentively
  • Seeing the world from other people’s perspectives
  • Not taking things personally
  • Practicing acceptance, not judgment
  • Practicing patience
  • Practicing tolerance
  • Learning how to ask good questions
  • Making decisions with good information
  • Considering the consequences of your actions


Take time to reflect on self

Self-awareness is important as it gives you valuable insights into your thoughts and emotions. When you're able to monitor your own emotions, you can make better decisions and build a better understanding of yourself. As a result, you'll be able to improve your life in many ways.

Reflect on some personal truths about yourself: Ask yourself what makes you happy. What do you want for the future? What are your strengths and weaknesses?

Reflect on how people react around you: Do people appreciate how hard you work? Does your co-worker see your success in their eyes or do they look at it with disappointment or envy? Do people have good things to say about who you are as a person?

Practice mindfulness

One of the most effective ways to increase your emotional intelligence is to develop the skills necessary to be mindful of your feelings. Mindfulness is the act of being aware of what's happening in your moment-to-moment experience. This means that you are actively and willingly paying attention to your emotions as they arise in the present moment. You are feeling them and not trying to push them away or distract yourself with something else. It’s a practice that can increase EQ because it encourages introspection and personal growth. Besides giving you the ability to better understand yourself and how others are feeling, mindfulness can help you focus on the present moment without being distracted by past or future events.

When we are in the moment and actively paying attention to our emotions, we are more capable of identifying them and either identifying with them or choosing a healthier way of responding.

While this may sound simple, it can be challenging to be mindful of our feelings. This is a skill that can be developed through practice.

There are many ways to develop mindfulness, including:

  • Being mindful of your breathing
  • Being mindful of your body
  • Being mindful of your surroundings
  • Being mindful of sounds around you


Take self-improvement courses

While emotional intelligence is a skill that can be developed through practice, self-improvement courses are one of the best ways to improve your emotional intelligence because they focus on the development of specific skills.

Self-improvement courses are designed to teach you specific skills that will help improve your emotional intelligence. For example, a self-improvement course on emotional intelligence might teach you how to recognize your feelings, how to identify the triggers that make you uncomfortable, and how to identify and address negative patterns of behavior.


Exercise regularly

Exercise regularly. Your emotional intelligence is stronger when your body is stronger. If you are new to exercise and want to start with something simple, try walking for 10-20 minutes.

Physical activity releases endorphins in your brain, which help you feel happier and better. It also helps you increase your focus and concentration, which helps you stay focused and attentive when you need to be.


Learn From Your Mistakes

The more you practice managing your emotions in a healthy way, the better you will be at it. The more you practice applying these skills in daily life, the better you will be at it.

Practice builds habit, and habit builds skill. If you make mistakes and learn from them, you will be much better at managing your feelings and managing your relationships.


Make a conscious effort to be more aware

Emotional intelligence doesn't just happen - it needs to be built up through practice. It doesn't just happen in a bubble - it needs to be built up through practice. Your emotional intelligence is not something that just comes naturally. It needs to be built up through practice. 


Emotional intelligence is the ability to monitor and understand your own emotions and those of others. It's a skill that can help you make better decisions, excel at your job, and connect with others in healthy ways. The above points are just a few ways to increase your emotional intelligence and become more comfortable with yourself. The choice is yours - you can choose to improve your emotional intelligence now.

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