How Introverts Can Navigate Small Talk

Feb. 21, 2022 |

Social situations can be nerve-wracking for anyone. For introverts, however, social situations can be terrifying. Will I know how to talk to people again? Will I be able to make small talk? Fear not, introverts. Small talk is not as difficult as it seems, and there are ways to navigate those awkward situations with ease. So, how can you enter into small talk with confidence? Let’s take a look.

Know what small talk feels like

First, you have to know what small talk feels like for you. You can’t know what you don’t know, so take some time to get to know yourself better. Write down what you think are the most common questions introverts are asked, then try to answer those questions using those same terms.

Now, when you go out and try to talk to people, you’ll have a better idea of what you’re aiming for. It’s also helpful to think of how you want to feel as you’re talking to others. You don’t just want to be able to put on a fake persona and get people to feel comfortable with you. You want to genuinely connect with people, so you can’t just be a shell of your true self. You have to be genuine, and that takes practice.

Don’t try to avoid it

It's also important to remember that trying too hard to avoid small talk will come off as passive-aggressive or rude. Instead of avoiding these conversations, try finding common ground with your conversation partner and see where it might lead. That being said, if you have a strong opinion on an issue and are talking with a group of people who share your view on it, feel free to speak up and change the topic when appropriate.

Don't worry if you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation; sometimes small talk can be fun! Don't overthink it or worry too much about how well or badly you're doing. Be confident and enjoy yourself--that's what matters most.

Ask open-ended questions

Open-ended questions are questions that don’t have one specific answer. Open-ended questions can help break the ice and give you a chance to get to know other people. Instead of asking someone what they do for a living, ask them what their interests are.

An easy way to come up with open-ended questions is to ask yourself what you would want to know if you were just meeting someone out of the blue.

This will help you think of questions that are more fun than career-oriented and avoid getting into the specifics that you might not be interested in.

Give simple emotional responses

When you respond to open-ended questions with a simple emotional response, you’re helping create a passive-to-active transition. You’re not forcing yourself to talk about something you don’t want to talk about, and you’re not giving anyone a specific answer that they might not like. This allows people to feel more comfortable approaching you with their own ideas.

If someone asks you what your favorite movie is, you can respond with “Oh, I don’t know! There are so many to choose from.”

This shows that you don’t have a set favorite without immediately shutting down conversation with a specific answer. You can also answer other types of questions with this method, such as “What are your favorite sports?” or “What do you like to do in your free time?” If someone asks you a question you’re not sure how to answer, you can always tell them you’re not quite sure.

Show interest in what other people are saying

One of the best things that you can do as you’re getting to know people is to show interest in what they’re saying. You don’t have to agree with anything they say, but you can nod your head and show that you’re paying attention. Even if you don’t understand everything they’re saying, you can show that you’re interested in what they have to say.

When you show interest in what people are saying, you allow yourself to be more engaged. You’re not zoning out or looking around the room, you’re paying attention to the person talking to you. This can even help you learn new things as you try to wrap your head around the context of what people are saying.

Be more engaging when talking with others

When participating in these types of conversations at a networking event, work meeting, or general social gatherings, introverts often struggle with engaging the person they're talking to in a meaningful way. Use your own experiences and examples of other people's experiences as conversation starters. If someone is asking you questions about yourself, answer them without being defensive or evasive. Also, focus on a single topic instead of trying to cover everything in conversation at once. By keeping the conversation focused on one topic at a time and not trying to cover all subjects in an instant, you'll be able to build a connection with the person you're talking with as well as engage them in a meaningful way.

Help other people feel comfortable

The best way to get people to feel more comfortable around you is to help them feel comfortable. You can do this by smiling, nodding, and showing that you’re paying attention. This will make them feel more comfortable asking you questions, as well as making them feel more relaxed if they’re nervous around you.

Don't be afraid to ask questions

A good way to break the ice and get to know people is to ask them questions. Questions allow you to get to know people in a fun way that you can both enjoy.

Questions can also help you learn more about other people and what they like. Instead of just asking someone what their favorite color is, ask them, “If you had to choose one color, which one would it be?” You can also ask people what their interests are by asking them what their hobbies are.

Don't be obligated to participate

There’s no reason for you to be obligated to participate in every conversation that goes on around you. Conversations don’t have to revolve around you, and you don’t have to be the center of every conversation that goes on. You can make an effort to listen attentively while still paying attention to other people in the room, but you don't to contribute to every conversation around you.

Small talk can be nerve-wracking for introverts, but it doesn’t have to be. These tips will help you navigate social situations and make small talk more comfortable for you.